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it was an eerie feeling. waking up twenty minutes half past midnight. on a Sunday again.

some thousand miles up in the sky.

i looked over the window and not a sight to see. darkness. the sea might be below us, but nothing is still visible. it was uncomfortable too sitting at my seat. no one to talk to, nothing to see. nothing to feel but that eerie spark inside me. not of fear of flight. but of fear of forgetting.

that was the master plan. forget everything. forget everything, Casanova. maybe this week’s worth of being apart may train me to make the final decision. no one, not even me knew the ending. but still, it was the plan.

a distracting month had passed. it should have been perfect. June was always the start of something good. this year, creeping beans of dread began to sprout. i should not have known these things. i was caught off guard. and yes, another thing to remember. always be fucking ready. it drained me, so i needed this break.

the blinking light on the airplane’s wing was the the only visible thing to see outside. planning to go back to sleep now.

but it’s how you say ’em now that has changed. nifty lyrics. it’s like someone is singing this to me right at this moment. aiming at me. locked on target. damn beat.  i’m switching music.

the eerie feeling returned before i closed my eyes.


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